Several years ago, I boarded an umbrella
cockatoo in my home many times. I remember him and his owner very well -- he always had
pink lipstick marks on the white feathers of his forehead from his doting human's
kisses.... There was no question in my mind that this bird was totally adored.
Then one day, the owner's husband phoned to ask me to help find a home
for the bird. I was stunned, then realized the sound I could hear was the owner sobbing in
the background. The husband explained briefly that the parrot -- for the first time in the
many years she'd had him -- had just bitten his mistress. He said she was so upset because
she felt the bite was proof the bird didn't love her anymore.
I tried valiantly to get her to talk to me, to explain that these
things happen, and to not get rid of a beloved pet of many years just because of one
incident.... But she was too upset to even talk to me. The husband promised to give her my
message and to ask her to call me when she calmed down.
I never heard from her again.
Not An Isolated Event
I would not be writing this article if I thought that this was an isolated incident
– unfortunately, my experience says otherwise. Many humans (especially females,
apparently) have an unfortunate tendency to take it personally whenever communications
break down with another life form -- human or otherwise. They often have extreme
difficulty viewing an interaction dispassionately. I worked in the field of human
psychology many years ago (even before support groups and codependency, if you can
imagine!) but I gave it up because it was bad for my health (mental, that is) -- so humans
interacting with humans is no longer my field. However, humans interacting with parrots IS
what I do, so this tendency of many people to "take it personally" is a problem
I encounter daily.
The main thing humans seem to forget about
parrots is that tame though they can be, they are still wild animals. They are not
"born tame" like dogs. Instead, they are born with genetic information that they
would need if they had been born in the rain forests of South America or the savannas of
Africa. They have NO genetic information regarding humans and their idiosyncrasies.
Consequently, they react at times as a wild animal, not as our cute, hand-raised and
beloved baby -- and we humans tend to get VERY upset when that happens.
I watch this human phenomenon every time someone meets one of the birds boarding with
me -- if the bird doesn't seem to like someone, then the person's feelings are hurt... In
reality, it is perfectly normal for a parrot not to necessarily like every human it meets.
It is certainly not a moral judgment about the person in question. I have more that once
met parrots who took an instant dislike to me, and I like to joke that they recognized me
for what I must have been -- an ax murderer in a former life!
There are times when parrots are simply is
not "in the mood" to interact with their humans -- maybe they're eating, or
playing happily by themselves, or perhaps they are pondering a particularly difficult
concept in astral physics. Problems arise if the humans do not recognize the clues of body
language -- they might end up with their feelings (and perhaps fingers) hurt. If a person
wishes to have a pet that is always in the mood for whatever their owner has in mind, then
that person should get a dog. Far as I can tell (with the exception of perhaps baths),
dogs are ALWAYS in the mood to do whatever their owners want to do. However, remember that
dogs have been genetically programmed for 15,000 years to accept human domination.
We humans have only been routinely breeding the larger parrots for a maximum of twenty
years, and they most certainly are NOT programmed to automatically accept us in the role
of Center of the Universe. (I think THEY think they already occupy that position.)
One rather spectacular example of parrots and their potential moodiness
is spring or nesting behavior. Seasonal hormonal behaviors are seen in virtually all
parrots and the birds have no more control over these behaviors than I have control of my
periodic episodes of PMS. When my hormones are raging, the very best I can do is to keep
my mouth shut. I most certainly cannot shut off the hormones -- much as I might like to!
(I think I'm going to ask Santa for a hysterectomy next year.)
A mistake I think we parrot companions often make is to interpret a
parrot's behavior in terms of what it would mean if we, as human adults (or
'"chronological adults," which is what I consider myself to be), did a
particular behavior. My favorite example of this fallacy is the way people often interpret
parrots yelling as parrots being angry. Well, adult humans are often angry when they
yell....but that doesn't explain my normally intelligent husband's behavior when his
favorite football team scores a touchdown!
No matter what, we need to keep reminding ourselves that these parrots,
intelligent as they are, are still somewhere on the emotional level of a two year-old
child. From my experience, adults do not always fully understand the actions and
motivations of a two year-old, but we certainly know it would be erroneous to interpret a
child's actions in terms of what it would mean if an adult had done them. And needless to
say, having a deep, philosophical conversation with a two year-old is an exercise in
futility!
One of my clients has obviously spent a good deal of time in
psychoanalysis, and she is forever trying to apply those self-analytical techniques to the
behavior of her parrot. Far as I can tell, her favorite question is "Liz, why did he
do that?" Well, sometimes I might have a good idea and other times I may be able to
give her an educated guess. But many times I have not the foggiest idea and I remind her
that often we humans haven't the vaguest idea why we ourselves do something, and we
should never assume we will ever come close to understanding everything a parrot might do!
The most important thing about parrots is to guide their behavior as
best as we can and, to quote Chris Davis, "To accept parrots for what they are, not
what we want them to be."
This article was first printed in THE PET
BIRD REPORT, Issue #20.
Liz Wilson, Certified Veterinary Technician, has been assisting pet
bird owners with parrot behavior problems for over a decade through lectures, phone
consultations, and house calls in the Greater Philadelphia area